5 Feb 2015, 6:45pm
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I dream of jeannie

They called to me in weird names
I barely remember at end of day
The Time to come in, eat
The dinner at my house was placed
carefully in small bowls on the table
Typically meatloaf or fried steak
Always some potato
A Bread
One or two vegetables green orange yellow
Remember in the happy days
Richie says he likes meatloaf and the
girls laugh
No laughing
On Fridays there would be fast food takeout
Burgers, Mexican
usually we would eat at 5

There were different customs at my
friend’s house
We said blessing they said grace
His dad was the minister of our church
Stern taciturn
No elbows on the table
Very little speaking
They had green naugahyde couches
in the sitting area
We watched the world series 1980-81
Dodgers and Yankees
No one had cable yet
His mom served salisbury steak
Potatoes and peas
So that’s what I thought they meant by
Missionary style
And a rare treat, thousand island
salad dressing
When we were done it was almost bedtime

I went to my grandparents later and still
go there now
It is my grandmother’s house
All day food
The grownups gather at the table and eat
LunchnDinner
While the kids sit at trays low benches
hugging our knees to our chests
Woodburning stove puts out so much heat
There is probably venison
Or goat, stringy; wild pig, squirrel
You never can tell
The all day watermelon and beer drinking
on Sundays Saturdays
That was my granddad’s thing but he’s gone now

Tonight it’s the superbowl and
We’re eating chili at my house
Everyone has a bowl they sit where they want

2 Feb 2015, 2:39pm
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Mother of pearl coat

Names of wood. I don’t
remember them all
Smoky joe
Thorny branch
Acacia redwood forest
White oak, strange sycamore

Back on the coast
Dudley’s micro carried me
back home that summer
It wouldn’t go over 60
And burnt a quart of oil on the way
We listened to the chilis
And he offered me a joint

Cassette player notebook
Leaves of grass
Gaffney peach
I wanted my granddad and grandma
to pick me up
We stayed at their house for a few days
I mean Dudley too

Another time I got stuck at a
friend’s house in charlotte
I slept in his sister’s bedroom
No headphones
It was much worse than that
Parents with their child in the home
Too intimate
We had a big breakfast but I
couldn’t eat it

A day late we got up and they
dropped me off near my house
At a kmart. I stood in the auto
section listening to stereos
Were you there
On a beach in long beach
staring at sharks my parents
Beginning to come home the
interstate jobs they had noise and work
My brain couldn’t function
Sterile lights dry dusty shelves
Ugly chrome and glass
I let myself go
I walked the rest of the way

One eyed man i would later meet
at the waffle house was just
beginning his night shift job
making fiberglass insulation at the
Manville factory
I wonder if he already felt the
loss of his i
I wondered
If he would let go that easily
When his lungs a few years later
would let go

Remember you were grossed out
and couldn’t eat when you saw it

I went to write my famous novel
In the church of all saints

30 Jan 2015, 2:48pm
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Tiberius the great

Nickel and glue
Zinc, turpentine
Wood and rosewater
In love these things are so
common and rare
Exotic metals are mixed together
inside your catalytic converter
To make the air safe
Tab A in slot B
Translating instruction manuals
for the human race

Captain James T. Kirk
Tiberius
Pioneer of the galaxy and shiny
showman in yellowgreengold and
green and showy shirts
Tamer of all worlds
What did your captain’s quarters
hold for you
Late at night
When you went to your bed and
stared up at the starry sky
What relics of us
Spacemen from an earlier day
Have you thought of us
Standing smoking in our big hats
and splendid day jackets
Scanning the heavens for news

We waited forever
We thought we would live to see it

26 Jan 2015, 1:22pm
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Reading surrealist fiction by a dim lamp

Parabola sheepdog shepherd bowtie
At seven thirty I have to take a walk
In the cold air, and dark
Not thinking of deer lately I see three
Or one
Then two
The thoughts I have lately are so supreme
I’m in bed with you one minute
and then I’m beside myself looking
down on a ruined castle
That was my life
I can think of it
To be on the Scottish heath like an aged king
By a dead fire

Looking for a rock house that was
there for me one or two nights ago
We went looking for it
Remember the one the wind didn’t blow away
The family so pulling underneath
So together in the 1970s everyone
piling out of the wood-paneled station wagon
Summer vacation then winter
Still I’m a private man
I read Schopenhauer do you know what he says
Nevermind
I have a warm jacket like this
Others prepare for Snowmageddon tonight
While I check my tires at the QT
They seem ok, for now

24 Jan 2015, 1:21pm
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Tiny atlas

I know the city was here first
Before woods
Before ideas
Before Eggs and bacon
Before What-you-have-for-breakfast
Toast, especially
It was the city that drove them
From the woods
First The clown people
Aping the costumes of the gods
Bringing remote controls and dustmops
3D helicopter drug drones
Aliens microbes labs rats
Ulna and Radius
Kidney
Names of things
a stone a fossil of 2D people kneeling
Then the letter men came
They were idea men
They hid the city
Bringing a fourth dimension
Time
That was the beginning of nonsense
Lives definitions
Ex nihilo nihil fit
Which is really nonsense if you consider it
The moon men with their hoses and holsteins
Patent leather address books
Safe deposit box
Hedgerow on hedgerow. Lion statues
Where was the city in that great nest
In a vase. In the foyer
Finally we came
We loved the city so
we shoved it back in the woods
We put it up in a tree
Out of reach
Only the people in their brainless
fantasies could reach our city
Platform bed hewn from the woods
Statue of a goddess fucking her brainless
woolly mammoth man neanderthal man
With cool glasses
Scar on his thigh
The wild men liked their new bathrooms

12 Jan 2015, 3:09pm
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Big outline

Time is beauty, cellophane
Nothing at all
A big walk around the lake to see moonlight
your friends are expecting you there
On the other side
With big umbrellas and happy speeches
Décolletage mirror ball
A dance in the hall at the friendly mansion
I guess
they will see you back to sleep
And you will see the grounds tomorrow

But I’m too close to it
I worry
I think I will just walk around the lake
and want to swim
To take a deep dive under the stars
With you
Why not
Because there is a path

Otherwise I don’t know what I am
Caveman in a brain
Rattling pots and pans
Bones building fires and cooking
Living fixing
Fucking. Not eating.
Just another silly monkey
Reading James Joyce in an outhouse

6 Jan 2015, 12:51pm
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Unanswered version

Where does life tumble from
Bodegas are fancy
Toothbrush and ocean
Another word for your choice, your life
Many things are happening
Which are meaningful
Even in the smallest context
Even Without chaos theory
What were a hummingbird
Or A butterfly
Before
Simple symbols for complex meanings
I hate you
Belgrade, yugoslavia
Existing and not existing
Yet I love you at the same time
You’re so wrong, so right
So different and so fine
But life is no metaphor
No joke
I don’t laugh at you when I think about it
Or roll coins for a future deposit

23 Dec 2014, 1:56pm
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Noisy draft

Turning motors
Blue and drawn
Turing machine sits on the porch
My head
Sad music and punch drunk Sunday
Climbed all night
Up the day
Walking to work       my car
Swimming
The doubts
Head phones on to you and my family
Not good
No good
Useless, abject
Little poem

15 Dec 2014, 8:55am
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Drinking Earl Grey tea and thinking about your vagina

Marigold blossom and jet inkstain
Dried cumstain
Dried cum becums you becomes me becomes becums
I am losing myself in the moment of this
Bildungsroman, this
Body is a nest, this your body
Thorny groin
My own warm moist mossy musk
Brings back to me
Hot flashes of the man kind
Important signals, atoms firing
Death of progress slowly happening
Especially when I orgasm
Body clearly on the decline now
But still suitable
I am tall enough
I am handsome enough

It must be that what I am
Brings back strings feathers twigs
Bric-a-brac back and forth to you
I am what I am
I am Flitting like a kite at your back
Pulling ribbons on a corset piercing
Tying you up
Watching me spank you calmly in a mirror
I brought a hairbrush but I think I will use my hand
I know this language of eroticism
But who is watching you really
There is a peephole in the room
Who is the important being we both serve

What is the octopus of the moment
Doing with all of its bright red tentacles
Even now

3 Dec 2014, 1:52pm
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Troublesome opus

And this gap bracelet
Cannot be cute
I want to put my fingers on you
In the morning
When the sun is out
December doesn’t feel like
December this week
It is warm and oh so different
With the leaves cleared
It could be summer
I could clear the leaves
And make it summer

I keep using words like want
And summer
Binoculars, dirt
I want to see further than I am seeing
Have seen
X-rays behind you
Back to the water
How much further can you go

You would like to look at me now
Cuz I am staring at your face

I am smiling

What is this day saying to you