23 Feb 2016, 1:00pm
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Avocado for your mess kit

Deep wife storm emergency
Tattoo big ness in your diary
Sleep inside a small privy
Nature hike on granola bars
Spam pem mi cam
Do you know the story of pemmican
It’s one part meat one part what you can make from meat
(tallow ochre burnt sienna
All those rough colors in your crayon box)

Asked if I could clean and gut a fish
I couldn’t remember if I knew how
Would it all come back to me
Or
As they say
Would I just wallow

I don’t know what I’d like to be fed on
Been purchasing weird things on amazon
Water purifiers backpacks sleeping bivys
Light weight food stuffs
macaroni oatmeal grits
Put it all in my maw
I have a singleminded hunger now
a purpose for everything

I need some tactical blouses
Impermeable Nylon
And ground penetrating radar

So that I can be near some water

Seam seal my feet

Eat that good stuff
Take some coffee for the trail

25 Jan 2016, 11:08am
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Running songs over fog

Package war friends rope
Cup of coffee in the hand (the mind)
The brain on holiday losing its shit
Winding up switchbacks two legged
Trekking poles ahead wind Ridgeline altitude
We are gonna camp out on a bald tonight
Bald knob gap ridge
Who made the words that we apply to these hills
Everybody making ball jokes scratching their groins
I’m gonna camp out in a hammock across the trail
Do what you like just don’t bother me if you get cold
Ha ha who brought beans
Pfft

I’m too old too young too old again
It’s history that I am missing
Remembered Nostalgia grieving for the past
Nothing like you could use on a rainy day
Sunshine for hope
next morning stuff
You have climbed it up it now climb it down
Waterfalls creek beds
Temps picking up
Shins burning

I have an idea about grief now and again
It’s in a cartoon
Yosemite huckleberry yogi boo boo
The sun is behind them
They get back in their cars, and keep running

1 Jan 2003, 7:04pm
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From the Archive:
Chronology

(Vincent Van Gogh )

Still Life with Cabbage and Clogs
Still Life with Beer Mug and Fruit
Dunes
Dunes with Figures
Edge of a Wood
Girl in the Woods
Girl in White in the Woods
Man Stooping with Spade or Stick
Two Women in the Woods

Farmhouses in Loosduinen Near The Hague at Twilight

Three Figures Near a Canal

Weaver Facing Right (Half-Figure)

The Old Tower at Nuenen with a Ploughman

Weaver Facing Right
Weaver Facing Left with Spinning Wheel
Landscape with Pollard Willows
Weaver Arranging Threads
Cart with Black Ox
The Old Tower in the Fields
Avenue of Poplars at Sunset
Congregation Leaving the Reformed Church

Still Life with Clogs and Pots
Still Life with Coffee Mill, Pipe Case, and Jug
Still Life with Two Sacks and a Bottle
Still Life with Birds’ Nests
Still Life with Two Herrings, a Cloth, and a Glass
Still Life with French Novels and a Rose

Vase with Zinnias
The Banks of the Seine with Boats
Still Life with Apples, Pears, Lemons, and Grapes
Still Life with Plaster Statuette, a Rose, and Two Novels

Two Lovers (Fragment)
Grass and Butterflies
The Langlois Bridge at Arles
Path Through a Field with Willows
The Café Terrace on the Place du Forum, Arles, at Night
The Novel-Reader
Still Life with Oranges, Lemons, and Blue Gloves

A Corner in the Garden of St. Paul Hospital
Death’s Head Moth
Field of Spring Wheat at Sunrise
Cypresses with Two Female Figures
Olive Trees with the Alpilles in the Background
Starry Night
Wheat Field with Reaper and Sun
Wheat Field with Cypresses
Olive Trees
Two Poplars on a Road Through the Hills
The Stone Bench in the Garden of St. Paul Hospital
Still Life: Vase with Irises

Blossoming Chestnut Branches
Houses in Auvers
Village Street and Steps in Auvers with Figures
The White House at Night
Landscape at Auvers in the Rain

Wheat Field with Crows

originally published in canwehaveourballback, February 2003

13 Jan 2016, 8:24pm
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Happy bottom, warm to the touch

Babe right cool
December shark January fish
Jetsons on tv in the anteroom
Ivs hooked up to judys thin wrist
Oh judy what have you done
Idylls of teenage boys
Girls with candy poison
Thin, aloof / wrong nut
Peppermint hopscotch girls
Elroy wants to be one
to grow up and out of his chest hair
Transvestite religious angel
Religious mechanism righteous despair
Astro keeps going around and around an Astro
I heard a fly buzz and a dog bark/whimper when i kissed you
George? George?
Jane says with her eager toes painted
wriggling around and around the untethered stocking
I can see you blush
I can feel you blush
We start singing the lyrics to that song

10 Dec 2015, 11:19am
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Hanseatic

Teardrop lumens
Fuck me fuck me not
A tilde a dash
Been saying it all day blue sky no cloud no
Non winter December day
66 in the sun
Feeling sky awful how to put things

Stopped at the Publix to buy brownie mix for my son’s
brownie model of lübeck Germany
(it has blue for the water)
Picked up some subs for dinner
then went on satellite radio
The guys on Faction were talking to David spade about his new book
He’s a Funny funny guy
Celebrity or no self deprecating and lame true lame
(he has slept with so many women!)

I don’t know where I would have to be in lübeck Germany
it looks so much like an eyeball
my son carries the city to school in a glass dish
I tell him to be careful
all those little people
hanging out at the Marienkirche practically depend on him
for their lives

20 Nov 2015, 10:46am
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Desert fleece / polypropylene / wet cotton

Scattered message throat lozenge diaper rash
Forced Forceps troubled dream Indiana
Who drew you in petticoats swimsuit bunny jumper
Tragic black makeup long hair wild irises
It was me I guess
I didn’t wish it
How did I know it was you
The ‘you’ you are in a dream is always suspect
I don’t know you
I Listen to rap these days rap and punk heavy metal
I don’t know you
I Bought you a birthday card forgot to mail it
Found it the other day washing my car
Forgot to tell you
The batteries inside were still good it buzzed when I opened it up and
There was a Fly on a wall

Fly strips are made of what
Grandmother fell down again she’s in a rehab facility now
First Thanksgiving since I’ve been nine? We won’t go there
Maybe have a turkey here
Watch the leaves fall start a fire
Drink a Lagavulin and think of all we had to lose to get here
we now have to be up so early and don’t really know what to do with all that freedom
When all I can do is react to the damage and report it
Bombs going off everywhere
Plan and contingency
In a dream I can still feel the
Pink slippers of your mouth around me
Like a hill climbing on top and
My Hand on your face touching you and
That’s the way it goes I guess
In a dream we are safe, since none of us even exist

15 Oct 2015, 1:31pm
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Last will and testament

Dust ruby hiding cough
coal mother crow eyes eagle face
Little shine on the valley hey man
bends over and picks up a soap
A cartoon drawn by a child
Becomes a puzzle in man’s eye
Graphic novels read by the best award-winning prized
vocalist vocals
He schedules you in for the afternoon
Books on tape audio books books on cd
What are books
The obsolete grows more obsolescent
As you grow more senescent
Good girl Go on
who does not remember that painting of Turner’s golden/
White goddess
Fairy me fairy
Yes they do all say they do
But who will you have come
The koi in my pond yes
I Want my son to have the big stereo with the blown speaker
Listen to it in the motorhome
big bass tube sound
Bliss I want to know bliss
fall back to forgetting
Grandmother what are you hiding
In the cemetery where the crows are

27 Aug 2015, 10:04am
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Brain liquid metaphysics

Breadcrumb society
Trailer station
Waking up and rolling over and
Writing songs like
What did you dream of before this
The train is all over me
Lake woebegone
Travelling to minutes before
where there used to be donut shops
Police car outtakes
Don’t close your eyes we’re on a stakeout
Outside your house
The transformer robots gleefully sleep
and Cyborgs wait on us
We are them
Their dream
Here is the software for your root code
Starbucks analogy freeze frame dunkin donuts
McDonald’s nescafe
conditions are just fine at amazon
Thank god
What was toni Braxton singing
Before I knew how to know
I am Totally lukewarm now
My mind changes everything
Like Cold pizza
tetris can suppress your appetite
Or lady viagara
do you know what I’m saying
Angels can’t drive
If they could
There’d have to be a new sort of madonna
outside the Louvre

22 Jul 2015, 10:18am
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David Bowie – Lou Reed – tiny country

Hair face
Pretty blossom
You look like a dove
You look like a dolphin

You remind me of me and andie with the gay porn
Me and alex
Me and the little eiffel
I remember

How come you’ve got no cave
How come
All alone alone
All by the body
The bamboo reeds shoot up in the lawns
The drug dealers go down and say
Grandmother grandmother what big eyes you have
The fairytale is ugly
Leave us alone

Mother mother may I
Wear your dress
Throw rocks in the weeds
I caught my finger on a hook
Look
I’m bleeding

Now we are going home for the hernia operation
I can’t even walk now
I have the gauze mouth anaesthetic
Wisdom tooth munchies

Boys names for girls
Boys and girls
Girls
Echo cardiogram
They say it is a heart murmur
They say
They say we will all die

I wanna swim
like dolphins can swim

16 Jun 2015, 12:11pm
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Does the pope wear a hat

Purple luncheon holstein holler
Bicycle shirt holster
It’s a thin material a wicking material
It’s a shirt for a bicycle
I find it cosmically unafraid and filter out the bad

First things are called exactly what they are
Mower bag
Vacuum attachment
Laundry chute

Then you are running around a lot
Probably trying your high protein low carb
Fat burner diet
Spinning in spinning class
Exercising on a wheel
Naturally you are looking good there too
Those squats are really good for your glutes
But look at all those sweaty gym clothes

And now you can’t stand it anymore
when it’s all over who will know you
Things go on and sometimes you have to be sure

I would like to see you when
You are
running low on your
Under things
When it’s just you and your horizon
Lucky there later here

Ronald Colman
Little man unafraid and naked
In a white t shirt

Punching the stars

2 Jun 2015, 2:00pm
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June 2001

I was living in a castle without any ideas
What a job
No man could be kinglier
I downloaded Kid A on limewire on my super fast dsl
It took a week
Then I listened to Kid A for ten weeks in my car
Immersed and terrified
Kid A summer
I was following moths
Azaleas, hydrangea bushes
Photographing crepe myrtles and
pointillist photoshop images of my daughter
What did I know about anything

You have experiences, yours may be similar
Did you vote in an election
Run from the cops
I only wanted to get out of my shitty
Two bedroom apartment and get on with my real life

When the lights went out though
We got drunk a lot
We sat, ministering
Thinking aloud about what to do next
About where to go and when
Then Nowhere then
A pile of books and dogs and liner notes
What a mess

That’s when I remembered the one thing that I wanted to be

I followed your trail of clothes to the bedroom